Eulogy for my husband Gerald

If You are Gone

If you are gone, then why do the flowers bloom,

how dare the petals peep from green leaves growing.

What from the earth pushes through into the light?

If you are gone, what fish swim the waters deep,

what birds slice the air with soaring?

Who walks the pathless trails?

If you are gone, where is the music of rustling leaf,

of running brook, of deer crunching twigs in woods.

Who breaks the silence of day and calls for the setting sun?

If you are gone, who calls the dogs, who whistles them in,

who looks out over the pond for herons prancing?

Who watches the hummingbirds sip red nectar in mid-air?

If you are gone, how do the stars pass time in the darkness,

how does the moon tips its head and shine over all the earth?

Who shares the sun’s rising, the shaking off of sleepy on the morning dew?

If you are gone, how do the seasons pass?

Who invites the Spring and warns the winter? Who leads

Autumn in by the warming hand and breezes Summer to its place?

If you are gone, who hastens when I call your name, what heart

will stir the fires of home, who will be here waiting.

If you are gone, I’ll take your love and divide it evenly

among the trees and rocks and rivers

the rabbits and the Beagles and the sky.

Our memories will not be wasted, time will sprinkle

them over every breaking dawn, every lightning bolt,

every rainbow streamer breaking blue.

You may be gone, but I am not alone.

by Teresa McLamb Blackmon

January 16, 2011

Alone again

My husband of 17 years passed away on January 8, 2011. I was 39 years old when we married, all accustomed to a life alone. When he knocked on my door, Prince Charming literally knocked on my door, my loneliness ended. Our marriage wasn't perfect, and sometimes my prince was not so charming, but the loss is sometimes unbearable. He loved me and supported me in every way possible. He was proud of my music and my poetry. He even tried to like NCSU sports. The last cap he wore was a Wolfpack cap and he was amazed at how many positive comments he got on it! So, I am alone again. Not sure there is another prince around the corner. If there isn't, that's okay. I can make it on my own with the help of my puppies, my friends and my family. Just got to get to work on the bucket list. As John Lennon said, "Life is what happens while we're busy making other plans.

The Awful Month of June

On June 10 my father died. I watched him die. He was at home. I was with him. This is a simplistic, monotonous blog post. It is how I feel. Numb. Alone. Free. There will be evevn more poems about my daddy. He was the rhythm of my life.

A fairly new poem. What do you think?

Inevibility

Waiting for the spotted dog beside me
to be gone, skinless bones buried
under yard trees in perfect grass
we mow and mourn.

Waiting for the father down the road
to finish his fit, at 87,
draped in a flag, tagged out
as if in a game of catch.

Waiting for endings of all beginnings
To wrap our lives in
garments whole and safe as armor,
shielding from the naked chill of loss.

Election 2008 and Innauguration

Left is Tally Sergent, a former student and high-ranking assistant to Hillary Clinton's campaign; center, Hillary Rodham Clinton; Julie Sergent, my Julie, my yearbook editor and friend whom I love and respect; Julie's husband Jay Pyrtle

The quote which lends its name to this blog is from William Shakespeare. Later, Edgar Lee Masters' Spoon River Anthology featured a character who compared his life to a chicken: "Save that a man has an angel's brain, / And sees the ax from the first!

I realize and accept my plight--feel the swish of a swatter and the swing of a fortcoming ax. I will not go without speaking my "piece." Or should I say "peace."

This blog is my attempt to make sense of it all.